So I have to figure out what I'm doing with my life. Moving will solve our debit problems, and while we can invest and have income that way it will not be enough to live on. Mike and Ian are school bound in September, in Hailybury, somethings are different up North, Mike can get to the Nursing program much faster than if he was here. Strange but true. Ian is heading to do the Vet Tech course after a year of "I haven't been in school for, forever and need to relearn some stuff" So while I still have three adult children at home this move is actually good for them. Life is strange. So then there is me. There are not many TA jobs up there, and I haven't been able to work through my Lab issues to graduate and be a phlebotomist. (No Vampire Tee Shirt for me) The lab issues are mine and it's just to complicated to try and explain. So, what can I do, Two years in school would get me LPN (Licensed Practical Nurse) , but I'm really not sure I can do that. The area where we are moving has many, many nursing homes. So I started thinking. PSW's (Personal Support Workers) are widley used in nursing homes. I can do the work of a PSW in my sleep. I'd have to do a year of school. I'd also have to be dumber than I am. But I'd be working directly with the patients, and that's the part of nursing I was best at. LPN would have more scope, but I'm not sure how well I'd deal with the actual school part. The side effects of Topiramate aren't permanent, but sometimes I wonder if somehow they are. So I'm looking at the two, both have many good things and bad things. I'd have a year of school to get into "working" shape and I'd be back at the begining of my life in a lot of ways. Oh except when I was in Nursing school a million years ago i hated geriatrics. I've grown since then. LPN though, it's more real. I have to look more at both aspects.

Well, the house is almost ready to go on the market. Today will be busy, we'll get there. I have noticed that there are many houses in the area suddenly on the market as well. I can only hope that since we're selling "as is" and pricing accordingly we can sell quickly.

Trading stress out of my life, well out of all of our lives will be well worth this. I know what the excuses have been over the last two years for not doing this then,but I wonder that it took so long. Still the past is the past, I can't change it. We're moving forward, Ian, Mike and I have plans for school and work. Wayne is waiting for hos MRI and surgical consult. Vicky, is well, she's noted that she sleeps better up there. So do I actually. As does Wayne. Perhaps Vicky can get her feet underneath her in Cobalt.

While moving in and of it's self is stressful, it will be well worth it. I'm not fooling myself that life will be perfect in Cobalt, what will be different is the types of stress. I can live in a small pond, I can contribute to that pond. There are people I will miss, we can keep in touch and of course I will be down for visits. I might even be asking for bed space from some people sometimes. IF Wayne does get to have surgery, it will be in Toronto, and I'll need all my friends then for that.

My feet feel less itchy, it's the gypsy in me, somehow I have to move sometimes. My feet have been itchy for months, no years. I just didn't know it. When I think about this my mind is clear, and I'm not dithering. It feels SO right. Now is the time and this is the right course.

Thanks for listening, again!

Well, this is a big step, we're selling the house and moving up north. To Cobalt where my Mom and one of my Brothers live. Financially it's the only thing that makes sense. It feels so final to write it here. We're hoping for a quick sale, "as is" for less than what is the going rate because the house needs work. If we had the money to fix it up we wouldn't need to sell. So major tidying and garbage tossing begin. We've set the 22nd as the date to go on the market.

Oddly enough I feel better now.

Life has been interesting for us over the last few years. Many good things have happened, but we've also had our share of, well, not so good. It has occured to me that we can sell this ugly house, that I hate, here in Richmond Hill, pay ALL our bills and buy a house up near Mom. The kids would have various issues with this. Mostly having to do with the internet. It's not like I actually get to see people down here that often anyway. And there is LOTS of music up north. Jobs? Not much worse than down here. The biggest issue we'd have would be medical care. Finding not only a doctor, but the specialists we all use. For some of it semi regular trips to Toronto would suffice. Especially if we can lump stuff together. Toronto has cheap hotels.

It seems like an idea that has many merits, with a few larger drawbacks. I shall have to see how they weigh against each other.

Poping back into lurking now.

In the interest of making me think here are my answers to Peters questions. If you comment here I'll post five for you to answer. That part may take me a few days. I'm not that awesome at questions!



1) When did you last see a real penguin?
You mean live and in person. This is embarassing, because I really do like the little fellows. The Toronto Zoo has (or had) A penguin, I have no idea why there is only one, or if my brain is remembering wrong. The last time I visited the Zoo was about 2005. Now I've just checked the zoo's website and it's been 18 years since they had penguins. They have an exibit now with penguins, black footed ones. I need to go see them this year. so it's actually been 18 years since I saw penguins.

2) The guitar has been banned by our evil alien overlords. What instrument do you pick up instead?
Can I over throw the evil overlords? What else are they taking away?
Well, I think I have two choices. Mountain Dulcimer or Harp. I have one of each here, and each has it's pros and cons. I think I'd lean towards the Harp. The one I have was a present last Christmas, a black harpsicle. I'm slowly learning to play it. The Dulcimer is cool as well, but I'd have to borrow Vickys. Harp, yes the Harp.

3) Name five songs you want to hear in a perfect filk circle

The songs would have to be sung by the right person, and the perfect filk circle aspect is one that changes.

Mary O'Mera, I'm not sure who would need to sing this. It would have to be a man, 'cause I'm a little picky about things like that.

Monster In my Head. Mike Longcour or Daniel Glasser. Make that Daniel.

Lullaby for a weary world, with every one singing, but with really good harmonies, like I'd hear in England. Lead? TJ Burnside-Clapp.

Stardust, Karen Lindsley

Sam's Song. this would have to be at a british con, with all singing along. Lead? Zander. That's not to say I'd say don't sing it over here, it's just that I'd love to hear it in England.


4) Which song of yours is your favorite?

Human Balance, I think. That is a tough question, really tough seems simple on the surface but . . .

5) What do you really want to see before you die?

Peace, freedom and prosperity through out the world. Oh you want something physical? Austraila, or New Zealand. My Uncle visited the first when I as about 9 and my GA visited the other not long after. They seemed so far away and mysterious to me. Plus, I want to SEE that I'm not upside down. I mean I KNOW I'll be right side up, but I want to feel that I'm right side up. Austrailia also has penguins with out the coldness of Antarctica. I'd like to see the aurora australis while I'm there. Oh and Kangaroos, koala, and kangaroos. I suspect that part of that is because of a kids show called "Skippy the Bush Kangaroo" I'd also like to see Wayne be better. Quite honestly Austrailia and all the rest could take a leap with out him. And unless he were back, it wouldn't be any sort of trip. That's what I want to see, my husband better, that is in no pain and able to participate in life again. Nothing else really matters with out that.

cats. Hands down. Why? dogs are to much work, you have to train them, walk them, find a dog sitter if you want to go on holiday, and they bark. I like dogs in the abstract.

cats, they snuggle, purr and make me feel better. all they ask is a clean litter box, water and food. cats are so much simpler than dogs, at the same time they are so much more complex than dogs.

Now ask me why I have TWO dogs along with my cats.

I really wish that things would just settle down one way or the other. I'm tired of feeling good for two or three days, and then not being able to function for a week. Can I scream yet? I have quilts waiting to be quilted but I'm in limbo because I'm waiting for a foot to come in. If I hadn't lost the stupid thing in the first place I'd be fine. Still it shouldn't take two weeks for something ordered to come in. Sometimes I think the universe is laughing at me. Can I try a different ride for a little while?

Sorry to be so whiny, I'm just not coping well with life at the moment. I'm tired, and tired of being tired.

I want some Aeslin mice. I may have to make some.

We had a flat tire this morning. Sigh, the misdeeds of other garages. who shall remain nameless now rear their ugly heads. they can't fix the tire, and one of the other ones (see the comment about ugly heads) is in bad shape. Two new tires and they will rotate them so the new ones are in the front and we have four tires that are the same. I agree. When the front tires come off I am called in to look at the breaks are weeks away from being dead. I can tell this because I've seen a lot of bad breaks in my day.

They did fix the spare, the one Mike and I couldn't get off the Van. It took two men nearly 10 minutes. it had seized onto it's mount.

The Van is now much safer, and we have had anther $700 drained from the $ we really don't have.

I did find out that I could apply for sick benifits retroactivly. and then look at disability. I really hope that goes well. really.

yes disability, I don't like the idea but I still don't see me as reliable, simply becasue of health issues. When I went into the government offices I was told about the retroactive stuff. we will see what happens.

I really need to sell some quilts.

Nothing different from what I've noticed. Mittens one of our cats is a polydactyl. Actually I suspect that she's the one who takes the lid of the cat nip sometimes.