I hadn't been paying a whole lot of attention to this, it's in California after all, far away from Ontario.    Then I started hearing things.   And so I started seaching for information on the LDS churches role in whats go on.  There is one thing I need to verify, but I'm posting this anyway.

I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day saints most of my life.  I was a year old when my parents joined.  Some of you knew this others didn't.   One of the things that members are told to do is to find out for them selves.  About anything, about any part of the church,  even about things going on in the world.   Following blindly has never been the policy of the church.  A couple of issues have come up since I became an adult,  Abortion.  the ERA and Gay Marriage.   None of these things are covered in a black and white way,  the leaders issue a statement and we find out for our selves what we should do about them.   I should add that dissagreing with a statement like this does not mean not supporting the leaders.   On the other hand publicly disrespecting leaders is not allowed, as members we vote to sustain or not sustain leaders.  I hope I've explained that distinction.   The ERA and Abortion were the first two issues that came up and were the two things that actually made me think about things in a real way.   I became pro-choice, and didn't write Ottawa to stop that portion of our new constitution that was like the ERA in the states.  I've never had to defand myself in amyway for these choices,  of course these are not topics that come up very often.  I asked my Bishop if being pro-choice made me unworthy to hold a calling.  He said no.  So why am I boring you all with this?  Well apparantly in California things have gotten a little hot for members who are in favour of gay marriage.    I haven't noticed any difference up here, but this bothers me.  Why?  partly because we are all entitled to decide for out selves what to do in this issue.  And also,  if you're reading this and are ardently against gay marriage and are mormon I have three gfor you.  Edmund Tucker Act.    Look it up.   The two situations are the same.  And if you are persecting someone in your ward because the y are supporting gay marriage,  ask your self - am I following blindly?  and even if you are not, we all have right to decide for ourselves.  And just incase you've forgotten,  we are not the judges,  every one here gets to make thier own decisions.  Their will be eternal consequenses for some of those decisions but people still have the right to make those decsions..  Thats one of the reasons we are here.

I expect that most people in North America have seen stuffed toys called "Shining Stars" I don't know if they are more widely available. These toys come with a star on their foot and a code to enter at the web sute called. www.shiningstars.com. I've looked at these critters and thought the penguin was cute. But the price was more than I was willing to pay. Well, yesterday on the way home we stopped in North Bay. We went to the shoppers there, and they had on sale, less that half price, these cute little dudes. They had the penguin. I now have a penguin. While I was pondering what to name my star it occured to me that I could name it after my Dad. so today when I logged on to the web site that's what I did. The star (some where near the big dipper) is called Brian Margetson. And my Penguin is BJ (Brian John) It's not recognized by the scientific community, but I don't really care, Dad always loved to watch the stars and the moon.

It's silly perhaps, but I feel better!

OK, I think the bug that I have been dodging the last week or so has come home to roost. I'm achy all over, my head hurts, my throat is scratchy and my temp is 38.3

Mostly I feel like going to bed and sleeping, I hope I'm feeling better tomorrow, con com meeting and a filk, hopefully a good nights sleep will help, and some advil, wish me luck

It begins to be that time of year.

Nominations close for the Filk Hal of Fame in January. On the 10th to be precise. so this means you have less than a month to get Nominations in. Nominations? Yes, that's how new members of the Hall of Fame get inductee. from your Nominations. The Jury, goes through them and picks those they think are worthy to be inductions, based solely on what is in the Nominations. We can't draw on our own knowlegde of what a person as contributed or done, only whats in front of us.

So, is there some one who you think deserves recognition in the community? For any contributions, writing, performing, organizing, recording, what ever they may have done to make our community a better place. all the details about rules and stuff, plus those who have been Inducted are at http://www.filkontario.ca/HallofFame.htm

Take a look around, there are sample nominations, guidelines and such. Nominate a deserving filker today!

Yeah, perhaps shrink isn't the best term, but I can't spell phsycya..... you know what I mean. Anyway,


My Lithium levels are at low thereputic levels. hopefully this means that the up way I'm feeling is real and not a manic phase. Which wouldn't surprise me, I feel like me, not like a manic me. I also talked to the doctor about my panic attacks. Turns out that panic attacks can be a part of being bi polar. So we talked about them. So I'm going to be taking something to help me cope. This means (I hope) that going into a classroom won't leave me edgy and panicked. Or crowded filk rooms, or bunches of other places. If my life gets back on track emotionally perhaps I can get the rest of my life back on track.

I really shouldn't push things, it won't help, I just get so tired of feeling useless and unreliable.

So I sit here, feeling better, but still feeling fragile. please keep thinking good thoughts my way, you have no idea how mcuh it helps;

This may be the coolest thing I have ever heard of. Discovery is running a show called superhumans. There are some people in the world that see music as colour, or taste it. There is one woman who not only sees music as colour but tastes it as well. She is apparently unique in the world. I am rarely envious of other people. It's counterproductive for one thing. But this? Music is alive for me anyway, but to be able to see it as colours, or taste it? That is so incredibly cool. The Lady seems a little over whelmed by it, I can't say I blame her, I think that it must be so hard to deal with. Even so, to see sound as colours? Oh how I wish I could do that. Now i have to go, Ottawa's remembrance day service is just starting.

Seeing colours with sound though, awesome.

from OVFF. Tired. Will try and do a con report tomorrow. Hopefully my brain will have arrived home by then as well.

So I don't actually read for 36 hours or so, and what happens? more entries than my poor brain can deal with. Of course I doubt that I'm actually taking what I'm reading anyway. I am so tired of having pain in my head. I could really do with out it. At least I know it's not because of high Lithium levels, my test came back and I'm nowhere near theraputic levels. So my does has been doubled. Perhaps this will mean that in a couple of weeks I'll feel like something is happening.

On Sunday evene ing a nice young man came to the door. He was from Neilson, the TV rating people. Were we interested in becoming a neilson family. Wayne and I thought this sounded cool and so did the kids so we said yes. Imagine, being able to watch Blood Ties and possible effect it's rating. COOL!!

Well no, apparently our TVs are to far apart, they can't set them up. Oh well. It would have been fun, but I guess it's not to be.

I cancelled my job yesterday. But I got a job for today and went. It went well. Nothing bad happened, I survived. The worst is over, now I can look forward to schools.

Saturday dawned, it was overcast and misty. The bus tour to the Ice Fields left at 8 am. I decided not to wear my boot. I went wiht regular running shoes. I had worn my boot the day before and my foot felt ok.

Anyway, driving through Banff and along the transcanada there were no mountains. It was as if they had been taken away. We were half an hour north on the Icefields parkwy before they became visible. They were as magnificent and stunning as I remembered. Words escape me. Pictures were taken, I'll attempt to put them on flickr. We made two stops on the way up, ater the second my foot began hurting. The Athabaska Glaicier was ok. I wasn't as impressed as I had expected to be. I expect that it was because I was remembering being close to Edith Pavel glacier well over 25 years ago. Then we got to walk along the stream coming of the glaicier, we got clse enough to touvh it. and the water we drank was right of the glacier. It felt real. this time we went in a bus to the site where the six wheeled buses where. Then we drove to the place out on the glaicier called the turnaround point. Lots of people, five or six buses, blue cones defining where we could go. The water I got was from a stream running around the turn around point. It felt well planed, safe and totally fake. If I ever get out there again I doubt i'll do the tour again.

By the time we got back to the hotel (with two more stunning stops along the way) my foot was one big throb of pain. That nights activity was the formal dinner, I hadn't bought along my dress shoes, the left one still doesn't fit, my foot it still too swollen. I bought my sandles instead. The left one wouldn't fasten properly. Dinner was good, five star food, and new people.

As an aside: I've got an appointment with the Doctor tomorrow. Even when I've done nothing my foot is still swollen, I think there may be a problem.

Sunday I decided against Lake Louise, I was simply in to much pain. Monday I walked to much, and paid for it.

Over all I think I had a good time. There's so mcuh going on in my head that I'm not sure. Tomorrow the doctors, and a foot check

Here,

Concert done.

Boy has this place changed in 25 years. And wow, 5 star hotels are cool (thank goodness this is a business trip)

I'd try and describe stuf but my brain is mush.
Ice feilds tomorrow

Leaving for Banf today. Excited!

Today is my Dad's birthday. He always joked that his favourite birthday present was the kids going back to school. Just a little nostalgic.

Beefeaters are cool, I love their uniforms. It's been awhile, I saw one. Anyway, their isa lady beefeater! Yay! I wonder if she'll take porkdripping sandwitches for lunch (G)

I'm excited!!!!!

First I got a call from the droid in my life, there were jobs available for tomorrow and Wednesday. I couldn't do the tomorrow ones because I have a dentist apointment. I missed out on the wednesday one since I had gone to the computer to look at the jobs, I hate the telephone droid. but I'm wired for sound, so to speak.

Next, Impossible Mission was a cool little game that I played on our C64. I loved it, inever actually solved it, I always ran out of time. but it was a game I could play. well it's coming out for the Wii. It's also coming out for Nintento DS and a couple of other platforms. The Wii is what I care about. Unless I can put it on the computer or perhaps my palm. I am SO excited, it's supposed to be coming out Aug 31. So that's really soon. I haven;t had to wait forever.

Lastly I got a lot done today. The basement is almost habitable.

Impossible Mission!!!!!!!

Just finished watching it. Aside from a few minor quibles (every one is younger than I imagined rom the books, and Celluci isn't quite ... Italian/cop enough) I liked it, Vicky thought it was OK. actually I have a quote "tell Tanya I liked it, it was cool"

Henry is quite tasty, Celluci is ... to cute..., can't wait for next week.

I've been ignoring my foot, by doing so i've gottren alot of stuff done. The downstairs has esentail gound to a halt since spring, I've reved it up, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Ian and I went to the Toronto Film School, he's very excited about auditioning in Mid september. He'll also be composing a letter to the lawyers requesting the fund to pay tuition. I've also been practicing, and practicing and practicing, i'm at the point where I never want to hear let alone sing some of the songs in my set. I just have this fear of arriving in Banff and screwing up beyond all belief. I've finished tweaking my set list, it has waynes stamp of approval. For those who are wondering here it is, along with why,

Out on the Mira (Allistar MacGillivary) I like this song, it light, easy to sing, and clearly canadian.
White Stallions (me and mom) One Canadians veiw of thunderstorms
To Run Away (Karin Goldberg) Andother take on clouds, and it has loons in it and stars
Log Drivers waltz (Albert Wade Hemsworth) Logging is a fine Canadian tradition, another song that is easy to sing and just fun
Lies (stan Rogers) About the only Stan Rogers I feel capable of doing in concert, ranchers, Alberta, Stan Rogers
Donkey Riding (Trad) Imagine my suprise when I learned this was canadian, (so is three old ladies stuck in the lavatry but I'm not sing ing that) The Donkey sung about is a small engine used for laoding and unloading ships, seemed right for a material handleing conference
The Hockey Song (Stompin Tom Connors) What can I say I like hockey, and it's a fun song
Something to sing about (Oscar Brand) Not an American but a Canadian. this song talks about Canada in a way I can't

end first half

Second

I would I were (James Kelahan) A Canadian Love song,
If I long (me and Mom) Another Canadian love song
The Willow (Jodi and Aryana) Ok the Canadian Conection is a little sparse, but it's about love and loss and closes this mini set quite well
Voices(me) Wayne insisted I sing this.
Silent Echos (me) what voices was supposed to be, moving to a 9/11 mini theme
Human Balance (me) 9/11
Unknown Canadian Soldier (me) taking a risk here, we are at war, if you agree or not, people are dying once again for that most fragile of things Freedom. Also brings in fladers fields
Farewell to Nova Scotia (Trad) Canadian WW1 war song
Lullaby for a weary world. (TJ Burnside-Clap) to finish, a song about wanting peace for our world, in many ways, not just from war, but from us nad what we've been doing to our world.

There it is, someone please tell me I'm not going to make a fool of myself?

Oh, just before logging on I checked my phone messages. I'm a semi finalist in the Mandarines win is trip to China contest. Not to sure if I'm excited or not.

A few days ago Mike and I heard a brief news report on the radio. Nasa wasn't sure if the hole on Endeavour's underside. Mike and I were puzzled why wouldn't they fix it? Especially since it was this kind of hole that made Columbia expolde on re-entry. We had no idea why they wouldn't fix it, well we heard a full news report today. Seems it's not that simple, fixing could actually make it worse. So the crew is in a wait and see state. I hope that what ever is decided keeps every one safe. .... After checking NASA's page it seems things will be ok. I hope sp.